"Coming to Terms" by Carolina Liar

oh no, it’s not me

i just forgot to tell you

didn’t mean, it seems obscene

we just lost track along the way

i’m coming to terms

i’m starting to learn

this ain’t all it’s cracked up to be

cause i’m using you, you’re using me

it’s never as easy as we believe

cause this hurts, i can’t leave

i understand, but can you?

i’m just scared, you’re lonely

everyone knows you’re better than me

i’m coming to terms

i’m starting to learn

this ain’t all it’s cracked up to be

cause i’m using you, you’re using me

it’s never as easy as we believe

is this what you need?

am i what you need?

i’m coming to terms

i’m starting to learn

this ain’t all it’s cracked up to be

cause i’m using you, you’re using me

it’s never as easy as we believe ......

it's the strangest thing when i find myself listening to a song over and over again. it just keeps hitting me. that knife through the chest feeling. i don't know what it is about this song..but it makes me hurt. makes me realize. is making me think. is making me turn my head the direction i am running away from. you know that dramatic scene in every movie when there's wind in the face and the character catches their breathe and looks back with those eyes.

boys and girls, it is the end of the semester!! i'm looking through all my Facebook friends' status and whatnot and ALL of my Freshman classmates are graduating this week. kinda strange that i feel left behind.

it's okay.

we all get to run through the finish line when it's our time.

i'm not quite sure why i decided to make a new blog again. but it's the excitement of just tapping away at a few letters here and there, sharing my thoughts, my experiences with the world. but more importantly just letting it out as conversation to Him.

i thank You for helping me get through this semester. it hasn't been as rough academically as it has been with family strife. where would i be without You? without the handful of girls who You've brough into my life to keep me sane? sometimes when i don't see something apparent in my life to proclaim Your Greatness, i can easily turn and look at one of these girls and tell myself i am so silly to think You're not here with me. with us.

Father, i guess i'm at a point in my life where i want to give everything over. seriously. i'm cutting off the ties that held me down.

i'll keep running with my hair in the wind, but this time, i'm looking forward. to what's ahead.